RELEASE (Word Balm Monthly November '21)

Release: 
1. Allow or enable to escape from confinement; set free.
2. Allow (something) to move, act, or flow freely. 
(Definitions from Oxford Languages)

Hi there!

For many of us, November is a month where we witness the trees releasing their multi-hued leaves, making room for rest before new growth in the Spring.  

Several years ago, I was moving through a process of intense change within my sense of self.  There was so much I was releasing and the grief and uncertainty of it all was overwhelming at times.  I remember long walks through my neighborhood, my head and heart heavy with all I was carrying, and savoring the sounds and sensations of dry, disintegrating leaves crunching beneath my boots.  

It was an immense comfort to me at the time--seeing my own process play out in the natural world.  

If trees can release, I can release.  

If leaves can fall to the ground and cease to exist, I can let parts of myself and parts of my life fall away.  

Release didn't come easy to me then, though, and it still doesn't some days.  I've got a stubborn streak that can make me tenacious when I need to be, but that same stubborn streak can also keep me clinging long past when it's time to let go and move on. 

The longer I've been a therapist and the more I've grown (up) as a person, the more I've come to appreciate the necessity and beauty of the act of release.  In the definition of "release" I've included above, the word "allow" appears twice.  When we "allow" ourselves to let go of what we expected or wanted or once thought was essential, we're cooperating in a process of change as natural as what the trees move through every Fall.  When we struggle against this sort of release, it's usually like swimming up stream; it takes a lot of effort and energy to hold onto what wants to slip away from our grasp.  

To give a concrete example, a couple of years ago I set a goal for myself of writing a book.  It was a goal I'd always had in the background, but I decided to bring it to the foreground and hold myself accountable to it.  I hired a writing coach, set deadlines for myself, and wrote a pretty voluminous amount considering the time I had available.  

But then...the book I thought I was writing shape-shifted and I suddenly found myself reconsidering everything I thought I wanted to say. 

And then, a few months later, the pandemic hit and threw my whole life structure out of balance.  And then, just as life was becoming predictable again, I started to struggle with (fairly routine) health issues that impacted the time and energy I had to write. 

In all of that, I held tight.  I was not going to let anything take this book goal away from me.  I would make it happen, no matter what (hello stubborn streak).  

But then...I started accepting my life as it was instead of as I had planned for it to be.  I listened again to my hopes and dreams and realized they had shifted.  I began to trust that what had unfolded and what is continuing to unfold, and I decided to cooperate (allow!) that unfolding instead of swimming so, so hard against it.   

That release made room for me to write you this note.

That release made room for me to embrace and expand my hopes and goals for creating and sharing journaling resources and experiences.

What will you release, fellow journaler?  What will you allow?  What room will you create?

This months journal prompts invite you to reflect on just that.  Happy journaling!

Journal Prompts
In our prompts this month I've intentionally left the idea of release quite broad to give you lots of room to decide for yourself how this theme fits within your unique circumstances.  I'm using the word "something" throughout, which can mean anything you'd like, but here are a few ideas to get your thoughts flowing.
The "something" named in these prompts could include: 

• an expectation of yourself or others
• a hope, dream, or goal that hasn't come to fruition 
• a responsibility or worry you're carrying
• a person or relationship that depletes or hurts you
• a sense of resistance against a process or change that's unfolding outside of your control
• an emotion or set of emotions that have been stuck or blocked

1) What is something that are you currently holding tightly in your life that is consuming a lot of mental or emotional energy?  What impact is this act of holding on having on other areas of your life?
2) What is something you'd like to release but haven't been able to let go just yet?  What fears, concerns, or worries are contributing to your difficulties releasing this?  
3) Close your eyes, then make a tight fight with each hand, then slowly open each hand, noticing the sensations you feel in your body.  Repeat several times.  What did you notice about how it felt to move between closed and open hands?  How might this connect with how it feels mentally and emotionally to release something?  
4) What is something you released in the past that has made room for something you're grateful for in the present?  How did this release come about?  What difference has it made for you?  
5) Imagine you spent a whole week accepting your life exactly at it is, without putting any effort or worry into a desire for you or your circumstances to be different in any way.  What would you most appreciate about a week like this?  What would be most challenging about a week like this?

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